Ode to a Stun Gun

Even though it was in a sleazy part of town, Pete enjoyed going to the Senior Center twice a week, especially since he had become a widower two years ago.  At least there were several other seniors just like him and he had someone of his generation to hob nob with and to just hang out with for a few hours.  

The stupid games they insisted that all the seniors participate in really infuriated him and he would always do some inane thing so he would be asked to stop and sit on the sidelines – which was exactly what he wanted.  Then he would either chat with some other un-popular oldster or sit down at one of the computers that were there for their enjoyment. 

Pete was not really of the computer generation but had taught himself enough so that he was comfortable with one and able to do just about anything he wanted to do. 

One of the things he had gotten interested in was personal or self-protection as he had never owned or even used a firearm since he was in the Army many years ago.  On line he had researched Tasers and Stun Guns along with Pepper Sprays and had become somewhat of an expert on these things that an ordinary citizen could arm himself with without having to have or buy a license. 

Many of his colleagues and friends at the center were very Liberal and he was chastised and ridiculed by them saying that any kind of weapon was bad and that the police would take care of them if they ever needed protection.  No one, they said, would possibly think of hurting senior citizens like themselves.  Even when Pete would point out instances where seniors had indeed been attacked and even killed he would be poo pooed by his friends as those being “isolated incidents” and entirely irrelevant to them. 

Pete was not as confident as they were so he had ordered a 100,000 volt Stun Gunand routinely carried it in his pant’s pocket.  Powered by a small 9-volt battery it was very small, light and compact. 

One afternoon as he was leaving the center, about a block away where he had to park, two young street punks accosted him.  He had noticed them at the same time they saw him so he had put his hand in his pocket and grasped the little weapon.  They moved faster than he anticipated and before he knew it one of them had jabbed him in the chest with a miniature baseball bat and he fell flat on his back.  As he opened his eyes and looked up, the attacker was standing over him – and had lost his grip on his pants and they had fallen off! 

All Pete saw was this crotch, and in an instant he had whipped out the Stun Gun and slammed it right between this guy’s legs and pulled the switch.

A blood-curdling scream came out of the perp’s mouth before the 100,000 volts knocked him on his back and the breath out of his lungs.  He just lay there jerking spasmodically as his friend took off running away.

The bad guy was still laying there in the fetal position when the police arrived (after the fact) and took him away.  Pete was praised by the authorities for his bravery but criticized by his friends at the center for “taking such a chance”.

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